Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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