Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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