haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
