That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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