Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
