we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
