Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
This is classic penis vs brain.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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