Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
