I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize