I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
