careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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