I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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