we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
