she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
