You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
