I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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