Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
