The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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