I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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