my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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