Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
