You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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