i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
