What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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