It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
third nipple confirmed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
