3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
