Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize