ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
