a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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