I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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