Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
