I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
