exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
