Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
