it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
