hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I cut my penus on the lid.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
