I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
