He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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