i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
