Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
