What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize