hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
