he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
