She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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