Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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