Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Can I color on your dick again?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
