I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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