just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
