Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
