The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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