what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
