When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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