and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
