just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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