Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
