I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
