She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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