shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
