You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
