i think i have herpe
just one?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
