You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize