If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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