i will never coherently bang her
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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