WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
