What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize